One Year Old

Baby girl had her first birthday last weekend!  I can hardly believe it.  It seems like just a couple days ago the hospital called and said it was time to come in.  This year has been a bit of a emotional year for me.  I worked up until the day before I was supposed to have Coralie but didn't end up going in to the hospital for a couple more weeks.  I had six weeks of leave from work which was not nearly long enough.  I started freaking out about a week before I had to go back; I couldn't imagine leaving her.  The next 7 months after going back had to be the hardest months.  Before having Coralie (and after) I felt too committed to work to leave just yet and Dave and I had decided day care wasn't an option.  Thankfully he was able to work second shift which is about 3:00 p.m. to midnight or one a.m. and it was Tuesday through Saturday.  I didn't get off work until 4:30 so we were lucky enough to have my mom watch baby girl for a few hours each day.  Tuesday through Friday we didn't see each other but to kiss goodbye when I left in the morning.  I pumped twice a day at work as well.  I didn't realize what kind of commitment this would be!  It wasn't a matter of whipping out my good and hooking up the baby.  I had to set everything up, hook up, pump for 10-12 minutes, then clean everything so it was ready for the afternoon session.  Sheesh!  I wanted to quit pumping so bad but again felt too committed.  I missed Dave and Cora so bad.  When she was younger, most often she would go to bed at about 6:00 or 6:30 and then I'd wake her up about 9 to nurse again.  I had a short hour or so a day with her and it broke my heart.  (makes me cry all over again just thinking about it)  I wasn't dealing well with any of this.  I missed my husband and missed my baby!  

About 6 months ago I had a sit down with my boss.  Since I had come back to work I was only working our normal businiss hours.  Before I had Cora, a normal day was a nine hour day but more often I would work 10, 11 or 12 hour days if we were really busy.  My priorities had changed though, I worked while our office was open and then when I could I would take stuff home with me and do more work once she was in bed.  Anyway, during our little meeting he very professionally told me that my job wasn't a 40 hour a week job and that I either needed to put in more hours or I could go back to being a property manager (demoted).  This rocked me, I did not want to be demoted and there was no way I was putting in more hours.  I had been praying before this visit because I had been so stressed and WAY too emotional.  This was an answer to my prayer.  When I got home from work I talked to Dave and we decided I would quit.  We had gone back and forth about this for a few months and I was always too stressed about it.  

Best decision of my life!  I knew this is where I was needed most.

I gave 3 month notice and luckily I am able to work part time on my own time.  Shortly after Dave got a promotion and a raise as well.  We also were able to refinance our house right before I stopped full time work and it reduced our house payment quite a bit.  All these blessings were pouring down on us!  It was more answers to prayers.

I couldn't be happier spending my days playing with my little monkey!  She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and Dave!  It is such an amazing, scary, fulfilling, wonderful, tender, beautiful thing to be a mother.  Happy first birthday to our happy, playful, goofy, sweet, loving little Coralie!